Log in

get inside my head?

get inside my heart.<3





February 5th, 2010


I love how when I look back on all my post, they're ALL dedicated to Mark. 
Wtf, Chrystal. Ha. You're lame. :p

January 31st, 2010

Just Wanted to Say...

I think it's totally hilarious how people throw around the word "love" these days.
They go out with someone for two days and they're like "0MGzZzz! iM LyK S00 IN l0vE w!t h!m!"
Hah. Wow. That's great. Isn't that annoying? xD I think it's just retarded.
They honestly need to calm down, and have a reality check.(:

January 30th, 2010

My dreams may finally be coming true.
Today, I went to an audition to go to Las Vegas to perform in
front of 200 talent scouts (who would help me get jobs on TV and in movies),
and I ended up getting a callback! It felt amazing!
So, tomorrow, I'm going back and performing a monologue Brody
helped me write, to find out if they would like me to come up to Las Vegas.
I know it's kind of a longshot, but I sincerely hope this works out.
But, of course, it comes with a price. A price of $6,000. I really need help.
If I make it, a deposit of $1,000 is due. I don't know what to do. My parents
are just letting me do this to see if I can get there, but it would break my heart
to be offered to go to LV, and NOT be able to go.

January 27th, 2010

 Today, in Health, we were talking about goals and whatnot and I had this really depressing thought. It was about the future. What's going to happen when we're all out of high school. When we're all (hopefully) pursuing our biggest dreams. When everyone is separated?  Will we all lose each other? Will we forget the petty things that upset us now? Are we wasting time right now worrying and stressing over things? The future is starting to freak me out. The reason? It's coming faster than we know it. I feel like the world is moving way too fast. The years feel like weeks.  The weeks like hours. I feel my life (not to sound cliche') is passing before my eyes. I don't want to miss out on anything. People say that our high school years are our "golden years" and I feel like I haven't even done anything yet.
Today, Dylan told me (although he does drugs and I disapprove) that he is having a fun life. That doing what he does makes him happy and that my life is BORING. At the time, I completely disagreed and blew it off, but now that I'm thinking about it, maybe he's right. I love my life, but maybe I could love it more. Who knows. Maybe I'm completely off. My mind is just so, blah.

What am I doing with my life?
Will I regret not doing more when I'm older?

October 6th, 2009


i feel like i haven't written in a long time..
probably because i haven't. haha.

well, there's some bad news to mention.
gramps isn't doing well at all. :/
his cancer has spread so much.
i can tell it's gotten to his brain.
the change was so sudden.
he zones in and out now.
sometimes he seems concious and normal
then all of a sudden he goes out of it.
and he asked me to get his cigarettes when he hasn't been
smoking for many, many years. he seems in another place.
it's scary :/ i don't know what to do.

other than that.... i don't know what to talk about.
we're going into the second six weeks of school and
we're shutting down because so many people are ill.
so we won't be at school until tuesday.
in band we'll be going to region which determines if
we're going to state in two weeks. it's scary.

well, i'll update later. :/

June 4th, 2009

ugh. i miss him like crazy. i don't know how much longer i can  handle this! it's been thirteen months that we've been together on sunday. i hardly ever get to see my boyfriend, and it's like driving me insane! ok, yes, my love for him can withstand any distance, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt in the meantime! i'm about to give up. not on our relationship, but on ca--- no. i can't do that. that wouldn't solve anything, and the Lord knows i could never ever stop caring.:/ i'm really lost in a struggle against the current here. this summer may be the summer that breaks my heart. i honestly don't know how i've managed to NOT cry at all from this. i guess, maybe, it just occured to me. maybe my brain was trying to protect me from feeling this, but it was inevitable. i don't know what to do. fasjhfasafsyi. HELP?! :/

April 21st, 2009



what bugs chrystal.(:

okay. well, i'm going to write my uber pet peeves.
so maybe... JUST maybe... someone will read this and be like, 'hmm... chrystal doesn't like this, so i'm going to stop."
hah. talk about wishful thinking... anyways. whatever.(:
  1. little, itty, bitty kids [sixth graders and under] who cuss like no other.
                  -this bugs me, because it's stupid.
                   they have no reason for it.
                   they only talk like that cus they think it makes them look cool...
                   which it doesn't. it just makes them look really bad.
       2.  when people say "pic4pic" on myspace. it's PC4PC
              GAH. get it straight.
       3. oh! and when people act stupid because they think it's funny.
           get it through your stupid heads : IT IS NOT COOL. IT'S FUCKING RETARDED.

       4. PIOUS PEOPLE. or people who SHOVE religion down your throat.
                - okay. i have my opinions on life, and you have yours.
                  respect it. don't tell me "you're going to go to hell because
                  you aren't a certain religion." that's bullshit,
                  i HIGHLY doubt God would DAMN PEOPLE TO HELL
                  who are good people. he just isn't that kind of person.
                  and even if he did, it doesn't mean you have the right to
                  treat me with disrespect.
       5. closed minded people bug me, a hell of a lot as well.

                - when you say, "eww. people who are gay are gross."
                   that kills me on the inside. it's stupid! ok. yeah, i know
                   you have your opinion, but still. think about it, how would
                   like to be called gross because of who you love? imagine
                   how HURT you'd feel. there's no reason for being that prejudice.
       6. when people say "ily" instead of "i love you".
              - i don't know. it just sounds less meaningful. blah. (:
      7. when people say "just kidding" when they aren't.
             -that's obvious.:D

April 8th, 2009

high school.

okay. well, let's get this started right off the bat. today we had, like, a freshman orientation type thing? and okay, i am honestly a bit scared. no, maybe more than a bit. hah. i'm excited, too, though. but, still. it seems like OHMAHHHGAWWW. like all i kept hearing is ECO this and ECO that and ECO, ECO, ECO. blahblahblah. is it REALLY that much different than middle school? it can't be. it's just school. it's just classes. i don't know. but i have a feeling i'm going to get into a bit of trouble next year.[; haha.(:

April 7th, 2009

yuppyupp. today is me and mark's elevennn monthh anniversaryy! **waits for cheers** hah. i knoww rightt. yummyyy. i love you, markkkkkk!!(:<333333
shiettt. and todayyy was also the amazinggg *drumrollplease*TAKS TESTTT. :/ yuhh. freakingg gay. i took ALL DAY long so i didn't have to go to athletics. XD hahaa. and when me and stephanie finishedd we just hungg outt in the bathroom til the bell rangg. and i was in a really good mood and hugged 39573285 peoplee.(: hah. me and katie were being all hyper at lunch too and we were singing high school musical.;] hah. everyone was jelly! it was a goodgooddayyy.<3 anddd saturdayy me and savannah and 548329 other people are going to see the HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE and go to the mall.(: haha. heckk yess. and savannah might be spending the nightt.(: so yuhh. it's going to be chill.(: well. that's all for nowww.(: peaceeee.

Powered by LiveJournal.com